Should I ask my bf for money?

Hey Rosie,

I have been in a relationship for 10 months with a guy.

He’s nice, but even if I have a problem, he never ever helps me with money.

I have bought him many presents, but he never bought me any. I have only asked for the money once, when I really needed it, but he didn’t even talk about it; he went quiet for four days and then when we talked again, he told me he was stressed from work! He still didn’t say anything about the money I asked for.{{more}}

I was going to try to ask again, but thought twice and I didn’t.

Is this okay? Should I try to ask again or what? He knows I am not working, but when I see something nice, when I get some money, I buy it for him

What should I do?

Dear What should I do?

OK, please forgive me, but this seems to be a very one-sided relationship. What makes him “nice”? Truthfully, nothing that I’ve read so far has given me the impression that this is a “nice” and mutual working relationship.

If you take the time and re-read what you’ve written, this letter speaks volumes on many levels. A lot of this relationship is based on money and what can be done for the other, very much like a tit for tat situation. When you give someone something, you should do so freely, without looking for anything in return. This is your downfall. You’re running a tab, so to speak and when you are jammed up you feel hurt and disappointed that he doesn’t do the very same for you.

Also another question: Why are you buying him so many gifts? It comes across as if you are trying to buy his affections. When you are with someone, you want to get to know them for who they are and what they stand for. Not what they can give you. Now, coming to his not being there for you, it’s only been 10 months and you are both still getting to know one another and you are seeing that your boyfriend gets moody, withdrawn and quiet when you ask him for money. There could be many reasons why he gets like this: he resents you asking; he is embarrassed because he can’t afford to help you; or he just doesn’t like this topic, period.

As an independent young woman who is not married or engaged yet, it is important to handle your financial issues by yourself. Concentrate your efforts on getting a job and putting yourself in a better financial way. Moreover, slow down and get to know each other a little better before you start asking or even giving these monetary or extravagant gifts.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152,

Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines