You need to love yourself more!

Hey Rosie,

I have a boyfriend who is very popular. He has tons of friends, many of whom are girls. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel when I see him surrounded by so many people all the time. I am a more reserved person at home and at work. I don’t like crowds, parties and too much attention, but my boyfriend is the complete opposite; he is the life of the party. He’s funny and people seek his company all the time.{{more}} Sometimes I can see the other girls sizing me up, as if they could step in. Even though I don’t think he’s cheated on me, I feel very self-conscious around him, his friends and family. He never leaves me out and always introduces me to new people when we get together. But I still feel as though he can do better. He says that I over think and I should just go with the flow because he loves my company. When we are alone together, it’s great; he’s respectful and attentive. But I can’t help but feel very uneasy when we are out together. Should I walk away?

Afraid

Hello Afraid,

You do realize this is ALL you, right? You are a very reserved person and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is that you aren’t your own biggest cheerleader. You can’t look for your self-worth in someone else; you have to believe that you have a right to be happy, have a great person in your life and be treated with respect.

Your boyfriend, even though very popular, has done nothing wrong, as far as I can see. He is happy to be in your company; he acknowledges you publicly and he also tries to elevate your fears about over thinking situations. It really is up to you at this point. Even if you went ahead and broke up with him, you will always have an issue with your self-confidence. Remember you have to learn to love yourself more. If you don’t put you first, no one can ever do that for you.

Who cares about other women wondering about your relationship? That is not your problem; you are the one in the relationship. As you continue in this life and get more comfortable in your own skin (I can tell you are still quite young), you will start to see that you bring a lot of positive things to a relationship. When your self-worth and confidence starts to take hold more, you will be a force to be reckoned with. Not everyone in this life is the life of the party; we also need focused, steady and reserved people as well; that’s how balance is created. Remember, love yourself more; no one is going to do it for you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com

or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines