‘I don’t want to mess up our friendship’

Hey Rosie,

I am a 16-year-old boy in high school. There is this girl that I have been feeling for about two years now and I can’t get up the courage to tell her. She has been in my class for the last three years and she’s really a cool girl. We have always gotten along and we consider ourselves close friends; we have a group of us that move well together, about 12 of us. But she doesn’t know that I secretly am in love with her. She’s funny, kind, really cute and everybody loves her. Should I tell her or should I say nothing? I don’t want to mess up our friendship.{{more}}

Crushing Hard

Dear Crushing Hard,

Well, I can tell that you are really feeling your friend; but what I like is that you are very respectful about your relationship as well and that is very admirable.

You are not going to be the first young man to have strong feelings for his friend. Also, I totally understand that you are afraid to lay your heart on your sleeve, in fear of being rejected or laughed at. But I have two feelings about this: one is nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, my stronger opinion is that because you are in a group of friends, you are all getting to know one another, trusting your circle, and actually seeing the qualities you would like and dislike in partners later on.

You guys are still young and you should continue to be friends. I suspect that she may even like you too and might not be ready to make that move either (just a feeling I have), so why rush it? Life has a way of presenting us with opportunities at the right time and I feel as though that is what will happen in your case. Now, all of this advice is just that — advice. It’s up to you to decide what you are going to do. I would continue to hang out in a group without the complications of exclusively dating someone at this point. Enjoy your life at the moment; no need for additional drama. Your time will come to reveal your feelings in the future.

Rosie

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PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines