Help me! I have been sexually abused by a lot of men

Dear Rosie

I am 19 years old and I have been sexually abused by a lot of men and been raped by one when I was 11 years old.

Then I went to secondary school and met this guy who was 16 years old. So we spent alot of time together. So one day he ask me for sex, so I did it, because I did not want him to leave, and on that day, I almost got pregnant. Because of that I never want to have sex because it was painful and my parent did not know what was going on.{{more}} So I want to make them proud. So one day me and this guy broke up, but we love each other so we decide to meet the day before Valentine’s. That day he asked me for sex, so I said no, but he still took it and told me if I get pregnant, I should get rid of it. So I missed my period for like two months. Then I decided to talk to someone, but I was also drinking things to get rid of it. So he left because of that, but I was not pregnant. Now he is gone, it is like I lost everything. I need him back, but i just found out that I got a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from him. But I still love him. Please help me. I read all your stories.

Help Me

Dear Help Me,

You have had many, many intense and need I say horrible experiences happen to you in your young life. I really would like to hug you and tell you that you can rise from all of this. I want to let you know that sometimes when we have very rough starts in life, we can come back from them to thrive, soar and succeed. You my dear, can do this; we however, have a lot of work to do to get you there.

First of all no, stay away from that last guy who gave you a STI. He does NOT have your best interest at hand, not at all! Once you tell a man (or a woman for that matter) “No”, then they should respect your wishes and stop! Rape is not a joke on any level. I am concerned that you are now putting yourself in harm’s way and this is very dangerous. If you know what someone is like and they aren’t going to change at all; placing yourself in these dangerous situations will not work at all.

Now let’s talk about you getting some serious counseling. To be raped and violated at such a young age like 11 years old can really cause anyone to go into a tailspin of unhealthy choices, trust issues, low self esteem and the list goes on. Therefore you MUST talk to someone trained in this field to help you get past and teach you how to cope with all of these abuses that you’ve gone through in your very young life. Reaching out to me is the first step which is a good first step. Now you have to take another big step which is to seek counseling immediately! Then you will have to do some spring cleaning of some toxic people in your life who may not mean you well or who would guide you in the wrong direction.

I will say this again, you are NOT alone, you CAN get through this and please DO NOT give up. Take the necessary steps to get the help that you need so you can finally start to heal and have a successful life, I know you can.

Rosie

or P.O Box 152, Kingstown,

St. Vincent & the Grenadines.