I am in downhill relationship

Hey Rosie,

I must say that each week I read your column, it inspires me to be a better person. I am a 26-year-old young woman living in St Vincent and the Grenadines for the past four years.{{more}}

Rosie, I was married to a young man to go back to America, but instead of going, I fell in love with someone else. Ever since, I have been in a downhill relationship with him. When it’s not problems with his ex, it’s problems with girls in the village. Rosie, I am now pregnant and soon expecting his child, but he makes me feel depressed and alone all the time. I don’t even know what to do or where to turn. I have no one. I feel so lost within my own life. Please help me.

Lost and Confused

Dear Lost and Confused,

You are in such a predicament, I can understand that it must be very overwhelming at this time. However, you will have to take ownership of the role you played in this drama also. There are many things that you did that you could have avoided completely and this must be acknowledged.

Why did you get married so young and to your husband in particular? Was it a situation that you felt pressured to do so, or maybe some other hidden agenda? When we are in the middle of a crisis, sometimes it’s good to look back and see what were the driving forces behind us making the decisions that we have made and not to make them again. At this point, you have to pull it together because you have a little one coming into the world that will need a mother who is present and emotionally capable of nurturing him or her.

This is my advice to you: Find a couple of people whom you can rely on to give you emotional support during and after the pregnancy. Try your best not to be caught up in the drama of both men, because right now, this is not healthy for either you or the baby. Then, once you are more settled, you will have to think about how much you would want your child’s father involved in the baby’s life and also if you would want to continue this relationship. Do not sell yourself short, please; you’ve made some major mistakes and that’s ok, because you can learn and move on from them.

So, again, get a network of well meaning people around you, take care of yourself and the little life that you are carrying; do not get pulled into any “he said, she said drama” and think before you leap in the future, because some choices stick with us for life. Wishing you all the best moving forward.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or

P.O Box 152,Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.