Hey Rosie!
March 28, 2013

I want to know if to stay

Hey Rosie,

I am a 18-year-old student and I must say that I am feeling deeply in love. I have been dating this guy for some months now and I love what I have found in him.{{more}}

Rosie, this guy is a special… different from other guys. He is ambitious and knows what he wants. He doesn’t mess with other girls, because he is afraid of contracting a disease. I am real confident in him and I know he loves me for a fact, but the thing is, I knew he had a girl before we met. After I came into his life things changed, because they were already having problems.

He was happy he started dating me, because this girl has a different lifestyle from his. She hardly talked to him and he always had to be behind her. She took him for granted because she knew that he didn’t like dating any other woman. The reason he loves me so much is because, I am there for him always. Before I forget, he isn’t in the country most of the time, because he studies overseas, but he is a very faithful young man and I am also faithful to him. We talk 24/7.

When he told her about me, she started acting different and started to love him, because she saw she was going to lose him. They have a lot of differences and he make it clear he wants to have a life with me and also children; while she, on the other hand, wants to get married before any sexual intercourse, or having kids, because of her Christianity.
 
He does respect that, but it is a fact he doesn’t want to get married and he has told her that. He wants her to let go, but she wouldn’t. He doesn’t want to break her heart, because he does still love her. I know that and I don’t want to let go either because of the way she treats him. I want to be there for him because I know what he would go through if he continues a life with her. He still loves her, but I want him to let go and make our relationship offical when he gets back. He want to do it too, but she is holding him back.

Rosie, I really want to know what to do. I want to know if to give him a break or to let go and let him figure things out. He is almost home and I already see a change in him, not a big one, but a slight one against me. I don’t want to get hurt, so please, help me.

I WANT TO KNOW

Dear I want to know,

Are you serious here? I am trying to be very encouraging, but you are making some big mistakes here. Big ones.

Listen, your first misstep was to hook up with a guy who was still in the middle of a messy relationship. When you entered this triangle, that was a mistake. Never become involved with anyone when they aren’t completely over their present partner; you end up in this situation and also getting very hurt in the process.

I’m not saying you aren’t a wonderful lady. I’m not even going to say he may not be a nice guy (even though I think he’s running a little game here as well), but you are now emotionally caught up in this drama and you have to want more for yourself.

So, my advice is to walk away. Why put your emotions on the line here when your boyfriend is still invested in his other life? Don’t you deserve someone who is 100 per cent for you? The answer is yes. When you compromise on how you should be treated and what you should have, it’s only downhill from there.

Finish, or go back to school. Set your career goals; try to embrace new and positive experiences and people. Wish your boyfriend the best and then work on building a better future for you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or
P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.