Hey Rosie!
January 4, 2013

I think my husband is cheating; what should I do?

Hey Rosie,

I think my husband is cheating on me. I am not 100 per cent sure, but I am seeing signs of blocked calls on his cell, he’s being very cagey when I ask him questions, he can’t look me in the eye and all of a sudden he is falling asleep on the couch — every night for the last three months. What should I do? I am about to start following him; I am so angry, Rosie!{{more}}

Upset

Hello Upset,

I can understand your anxiety and concern; I would be thrown off as well if I saw these changes in my relationship. So, what should you do? Well, the first thing is that you need to take a step back, take a deep breath and decide what you want to get from this relationship; can it be saved or should you call it a day?

From your letter I am not sure if you have children or not, how long you are together and so on. But the one thing in order to be in a healthy, working relationship is that both of you are emotionally invested to overcoming these various hurdles that come up.

So, plain and simple, I ask him if he is happy with the relationship and does he want it to work? Explain to him that you have tried to approach him these last three months and you noticed that there has been no improvement. It’s any one of three things that can happen: 1. He can say that he is unhappy and wants out. That would be sad, but a real and honest answer and this will allow you to make decision for yourself. 2. He could say that there is nothing wrong (which would be denial) and that would leave you in the place of what are you willing to accept in the relationship going forward. 3. He could ignore you completely, which still leaves you with the decision of #2.

I am a big proponent of working on marriages; however, I also believe that you need good mental health and inner peace. That can only be achieved with you taking control of your own life. So, at this point, therapy is null and void unless he meets you half way. I pray that the correct way is revealed to you. Blessings.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.