I don’t think that my two-year-old son is mine!

Hey Rosie,

I am a single man who has a slight problem. I don’t think that my two-year-old son is mine. At first, I thought I was only being paranoid, but the bigger he gets, I can see that he looks like my cousin!{{more}}

Rosie, my cousin and I look NOTHING alike! My cousin and I met my girlfriend (my son’s mother) at the same time and became good friends with her. But I had more feelings for her and we had a deeper relationship. I know that they did have a fling earlier on and that didn’t bother me. But now that we have a family together and supposedly moving towards getting married, I am so angry because I think she’s been creeping on me with him!

What should I do Rosie? We have been together for about four years now. Both of us are in good jobs and I love her a lot. But now, this is over our heads. I want to get a DNA test; I want to confront both of them and most of all I do not want to lose my little man. I am so upset!

Don’t Know What to do!

Dear Don’t know what to do,

This is so hard and I really feel for you. When we are deceived like this, or at least think that we are, it is so hard to think straight; but this is what you will have to do at the moment. You can’t let your emotions run amok and then do something foolish.

First of all, get yourself into some counseling immediately. Real men get help as well and I can tell you are a real man. Secondly, what are you going to do about your son? It is one thing to find out if he’s yours or not; but what happens if he isn’t? Are you prepared to walk away, or are you going to stick it out and continue to father this child? Please remember, you don’t have to be a biological father in order to be a daddy. He would be very lucky to have you in his life.

Finally, your cousin and your girl; I am here shaking my head! I am really praying and hoping that this isn’t the case because this would be VERY ugly. Your cousin, your blood and close friend to step over the magic line like that? Wow, I would have to really ask God for guidance. If this is the case, it may be good to let him know how you feel with a mediator present and then keep your distance for a while. Your relationship will be changed forever.

With regard to your girl, the fact that you think that she could have done this to you lets me know that there are already major trust issues present in this relationship. In counseling (on your own) you will have to find out if you want to get over this hurdle and salvage your relationship with her. These are only questions that you can answer. It seems like your relationship has changed over the years and maybe she hasn’t matured as much as you? Whatever it is, there are so many angles to look at here, but most of all I am advocating for the baby; he is the innocent party in this one. Be cool and pray for guidance, the right way is always revealed.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.