Get him out!

Dear Rosie,

I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years. He has been to prison twice and now that he is out on parole, I found out that he has been dealing again. Rosie, he was released to my home and we have a son who is 9 years old. He has to meet with his parole officer twice a week and there can also be surprise visits as well.{{more}}

Before he was released, he told me that he wasn’t going to do this anymore. He said that he was going to look for a job and do right by our son and me. Rosie, but he’s running with the same crowd. I don’t like them, it’s a bad influence on my 9 year old son and I also found a gun in his shoe. I am so done with him, I want to turn him in myself!

I have a good job, finished school and I am trying to give my son a different life than what I had growing up and now this man is really messing up everything. I don’t even think I like him anymore, much less love him. The only thing that holds me here is that my son LOVES his father. But be real Rosie, should I throw him out? I can’t sleep and I am nervous with this lifestyle he has brought back to us.

I want him out.

Dear I want him out,

You have said the magic words! Get him out! Why are you going to put up with this mess when there is nothing positive that he is bringing to the table for you and your son? This is one time that the safety of your son and you overrides any loyalty to the fact that he is your son’s father.

I can see from this set-up you are in the US, so this man has one more strike and then he is gone for a long time. Why is he willing to throw his life away for a quick dollar? This is what upsets me. He has no respect for your home, generosity, your son or even himself. Moreover, you don’t even LIKE this man! Do not get caught up in some warped sense of loyalty and this nut is quite happy just using you.

Please remember what all you have accomplished; the rearing of a great son (practically on your own), getting your education and creating a stable environment for both you and your son. Once you said gun, I was done!! I would seek private legal advice how to get this man out of my house and even go so far as to get an order of protection. I think it is THAT serious. Also, make sure that you sit your son down and explain in terms that he can understand that Daddy can’t be here with both of you at this time. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, but Daddy has to take care of some personal challenges (however you want to word it). If you see that he is struggling with this, quickly get him into a little therapy, so he can vent. Also sports and other activities like that can help him re-direct the pain of seeing his father gone again.

Otherwise get that legal advice, follow what is said, and say, “goodbye and good luck” to your soon to be ex and please do not go through this revolving door again with him. You both deserve much, much more. Be safe, be well.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines.