She’s 15 and pregnant. The father is 17. What should I do?

Hey Rosie,

Loving your advice every week. Keep up the good work. Rosie, my problem is that I just found out that my 15-year-old daughter is pregnant and I am so upset! Rosie she has one more year before she would have finished High School. She is pretty, bright, well mannered and popular.{{more}} I feel as though I failed, Rosie, because I had her and her brother when I was 17 and 19 and it took a long time for me to get back on my feet, finish school and be in a good place, and now this? How do I go forward? I love her, but my heart is breaking. The baby’s father is also in school and he is 17. I know his mother and we are friends, even though we are very disappointed. Help me please, Rosie!

Grandma to be

Dear Grandma to Be,

I am sending you a hug and I’m letting you know that you will be fine. I can understand why you are so disappointed, because you were once there yourself and now you think you’ve failed because in your eyes history is repeating itself. But know that you WILL get through this as well.

Take a moment to deal with your disappointment, but just a moment, because you need to have a serious plan in order to move forward, not only for you, but your daughter. She is very young and is in over her head. But you have been here before and obviously fought and came out on the other side and I know that your daughter can do this as well; so sit her down and lay out the cold hard facts to her about what lies ahead.

Also, seeing that the young man and his mother are family friends, it’s better to be civil and keep the lines of communications open here. Both of these young people need to know that they are going to be forever connected with this baby and they are going to have to step up to the plate and take care of business. However, the families need to come together so that these children can finish their education and become productive adults in the future.

I’m not saying become the babysitter so they can go out and lime; that’s not what I’m saying at all. I just think, with them being as bright as they are, they should be given an opportunity to salvage their education.

You have many challenges ahead, but most of all love your daughter. Teach her that she can’t do this in the near future again, and if so, she will really have to stand up to her consequences by herself! God is control, if you are faith-based seek the help of your church or get counseling yourself. You will need it to guide her and this new life that is coming into the world shortly. Your family will still be successful, just have faith.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.