I want to make the right choice
Dear Rosie,
I am a young woman in my late 20âs who is in a relationship with a guy who is a few years older than I am.{{more}} I have struggles with the difference, but we have achieved a lot for the 6 years we have been together. We talked marriage and are planning to do so in the near future. I canât wait to have my own home, which Iâve been longing for, for a while now. But I do love him.
The problem is that I recently started to talk to a guy who is around my age group, and who I attended grade school with. By just talking to him, I developed strong feelings for him. Heâs always on my mind, even more than my boyfriend is, and I canât stop thinking of him. The thing is that heâs not as steady and doesnât have a regular job at the moment. He had a good job at one point, but he only works on a temporary basis now and then, whereas my boyfriend has a great job and works hard for all of us. I have a degree, but not a steady job at the moment, so Iâm pretty much a stay at home Mom.
I want to make the right decision so badly, not only for myself but for my kids. I donât want to make any more wrong choices that Iâve made before. So please help me, Rosie.
Disturbed mind
Dear Disturbed mind,
I think you are having a case of the grass âlooksâ greener on the other side syndrome. I understand the issues of the age difference, the personal struggles, wanting to do the right thing etc. However, I can see that you are having some internal struggles about all of your life changing decisions that are before you.
First of all, you will have to come to terms regarding the age difference between you and your current boyfriend. He is older, wants to make long term plans, maybe he doesnât like to go out as much, and there are differences in some of the current things you like that may not appeal to him either. However, in just the same way Iâve said that you should dissect your current relationship with your boyfriend, you should do the very same with this guy as well. Remember, if you are honest with yourself, you may discover that it may be neither of them!
Donât mistake the excitement of how your new Boo makes your heart beat faster and how you day dream a little longer. That doesnât mean that heâs a good pick for you. You also have another element to consider, your children. Do they belong to your current boyfriend? Is he a good father to them? Does he create a stable environment for them as well?
Putting all of these pieces together to form a clear picture for your future is very important to YOUR happiness. Please donât think that Iâm saying that you should settle, Iâm not. However, I want you to know that you are also strong enough if the answer is ânoâ to both situations, you can do it alone as well. Donât be scared; just give yourself time to make the right choices for you. You arenât disturbed; you are just overwhelmed and confused, but you can do this .
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,
Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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