Dear Rosie,

I am a 16-year -old girl who just can’t make up my mind. I’ve recently been in a relationship for 8 months with an amazing guy, but the problem was that he flirted with other girls and most of time I didn’t see him much.{{more}}

Rosie, I think its kinda my fault the relationship failed because of my parents. Not only that, but there was a rumour that he was with some other girl who is apparently my friend. I tried to talk to him about it, but when I tried he just walked away. I decided to put up with this for a month until I decided that I wasn’t happy in the relationship.

Rosie, I spent about a month without dating.

Now I’ve met this new guy and we are a couple, but the problem is sometimes when I’m talking to him I make a mistake and call him by my ex-boyfreind’s name, not only that but every time I go to say something this new guy thinks I’m gonna talk bout my ex-boyfriend. He thinks I still love him, even though I deny it. But the truth is, Rosie, I know I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend, but how can I help it when he’s flirting with me. How can I prove to my new boyfriend that I’m not in love with my ex-boyfriend?

Crazy…

Dear Crazy,

First, please don’t call your self crazy, you aren’t. You are 16, confused and searching for answers at the moment. If you’ve read my column before you would already know that I find that your relationship and drama is much too deep for your age. You had a relationship that went south. It appears as though your boo was/is a flirt, your parents had great instincts and didn’t like him and some friend of yours also may be involved in this betrayal? Again, this is way too much drama for someone this young.

However, the statements that get me are: “I KNOW I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH MY EX-BOYFRIEND” and “HOW CAN I PROVE TO MY NEW BOYFRIEND THAT I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH MY EX-BOYFRIEND.” What? Do you see how confusing this is? You can’t help who you love (no matter your age, that’s a real fact), but you have gone unto another relationship and still really didn’t give yourself enough time (one month is no time to heal) to get over your ex.

So my advice to you; Back off from all the relationships for a while. What is a while? Maybe about six months or so. Sit back with clear eyes and assess all the people around you. Such as your ex, your current boo, your “friends” and yourself. See what the pieces are in this whole puzzle that you like and the pieces you don’t.

You are learning some important lessons at this very young age that will hold you in good stead for adulthood.

Number 1: Do not settle for crappy treatment.

Number 2: Not everyone means you well, so choose your friends carefully.

Number 3: Your parents aren’t the enemy (they really aren’t!); they will always have your back.

Finally number 4: You are the captain of your ship; decide who sail with you in life. You would be so surprised if you did what I’m telling you to find that so many things reveal themselves – you would be shocked. Do not be pulled back in by the flirtatious player either… he isn’t for keeps. Be smart and strong.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.