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Why are you settling for this?

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Hey Rosie,

I am in need of some advice on how men operate. I have been seeing this guy for three months now. At first, we used to be talking on the phone often, and he used to make the effort to see me whenever he could. Because of his work, I get to see him at least twice a week and every other weekend, but now, we hardly talk on the phone and sometimes he is up from work and doesn’t pass by me, and when he does, he’s sleeping.{{more}} Because of his job, I know he’s going to be tired, and plus he likes to drink, so obviously he’s going to fall asleep on me. We have had sex once. We decided on using a condom, but he never walks with any, saying he doesn’t even think about that. I asked him if he’s seeing someone else, he said no, and I have no evidence of that. Every time I talked to him about what’s going on with us, it’s the same excuse, and I am getting tired of it. Rosie, I like him, and plus I actually prayed and asked God for someone and what I want in this person, and exactly like I asked it happened, but I am running out of patience.


Dear Confused,

I think you actually are aware that this is not the person that God sent for you. Maybe you wanted to hear this from another person, but sad to say, he is not it. God only wants the very best for us, and at this time, I think you are settling for less than the very best.

One of the hints is that he is not putting in a lot of effort to see you, and nurture this relationship to the next level. In fact, he’s avoiding you, going out drinking, and most of all not taking your concerns seriously. This is not the sign of someone who is a caring, loving partner.

So, my question is: “Why are you settling for this?” Don’t you think that you should have a person that may be a little more respectful of you, your mind, body and soul? Someone who wants together to do things in the open, not behind closed doors? My suggestion is to go back to the drawing board and make a list of what you like and don’t like in a potential mate. Then see if the good outweighs the bad with this man. Then you would have your answer. Also, while you are it, take some time to go over that list and see what it is that you deserve in life.

Remember, you are special, precious, and only deserve to get the best so that you may give your best in return. Love isn’t a one way street. Right now it seems that you are on a one way street by yourself. All the best in making new turns in your life.


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.