I want my so called family to stop judging me

Hey Rosie,

I have been reading your articles every week and the advice and suggestions you would give would be so amusing. Now I have a problem that I have been keeping within in me for years.{{more}}

Many times fingers have been pointing at me for many reasons, but most of them have to do with the taking of money. Whether I am around or not, and things go missing, my so called family would point their fingers at me, and go around telling as many people as they can about what they say is missing.

When I am not there, they have BIG DISCUSSIONS about these things and when I am there, everyone seems to go silent. One of my cousins has drawn it to the attention of my mother and my father and they came to me about the matter.

Now what I have a problem with is that if something goes missing and you want to ask me about it, feel free, but pointing fingers and saying what they would do from what they wouldn’t do would make you wonder if they are really big people. As far as I know, the Bible speaks about judging and I have been judged so many times, but that’s okay. What I want them to do is to grow up and stop being fools.

Fed up of you all

Dear Fed up of you all,

Well, I am happy that you find me amusing. Sometimes advice can come in different forms. Whether you choose to follow the advice is another story. I have to say your letter is more like a statement, rather than one which seeks advice, and that’s okay as well. You seem to have your finger on the pulse of your own problem, and I guess that it is cathartic for you to say how you feel, and by no means do I blame you for this.

To be accused of doing something that you know that you are innocent of is very hurtful and can also make you very defensive. I only have one side of this story, but I am going to answer based on what you said. If someone has doubts about you, is questioning your honesty or integrity, then they should be forthright enough to discuss it with you. Let me tell you, this is easier said than done though. For your family, maybe it’s how they approach their sensitive issues, even though this should be handled differently.

I have a couple of questions for you: are you easy to talk to in general? When confronted by an uncomfortable situation (such as this), would you hear them out or come out swinging because you felt cornered? I ask these questions because maybe it has to do with your personality and approachability why this unfortunate situation is occurring in your life.

The bottom line is this: Yes, this treatment is totally unacceptable. Yes, if there is an issue, it should be brought out into the open to be discussed in a civil manner. However, I am also planting a seed that maybe you should take a look inward just in case a little of this miscommunication also lies with you. Continue to fight the good and honest fight.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.