My girlfriend betrayed me after seven years together

Hello Rosie,

It’s my first time doing something like this. Usually, I would keep quiet about stuff and never speak to anyone about it.

I am a guy. First off, I am (was) in a relationship with someone for the past seven years whom I loved dearly. We have a child together. I am never at home because of work.{{more}} I am working for 6 months out of the country, but my girlfriend is having an affair with someone that she employed to work with her. She finally told me the truth. Now it’s like I am going insane. I am thankful that I am not at home now, or only the Lord knows what I would have done. She is asking for forgiveness. Do you think i should, after she betrayed my trust and my love?

Even when I was at home on vacation she was still having sex with this guy. This guy still lives in his parents’ house. Maybe he is in his mid-thirties. I built a home that the two of us can be comfortable in and I am only 27. I helped her to pay her way through University, and she still betrayed me. Can you please tell me what to do.

Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

Believe me, I can understand that it’s very difficult to talk about being betrayed by the one you love, much less reach out for help, but I’m glad that you did. So after seven long years of loving your partner, building a home, a family together and helping her through University she has cheated on you? Well I would be a little “tight” myself to say the least.

First off, even though you are upset, you can’t resort to any type of violence. Not to the man or her. That’s not an option! Self control is of utmost importance here. You can’t give into your emotions. Who do you think will suffer in the long run? You and your child. So that is off the table.

How come you never got married before this? However, her cheating did expose a part of your relationship that had a weak link. There were already other problems before the cheating happened. For example, we are attracted to a popular person or someone who likes to flirt. It’s cute when you just start off in the relationship because you think you’ve won the prize, but it can get real old for the long haul.

Both of you have things in your life that need immediate attention. However, only you can work on you. My advice to you is this: lick your wounds, take sometime for yourself and re-evaluate where you go from here. Also get some counseling. This will be so helpful to you in the long run. Then come to an agreement about how you are going to co-parent your child and move on. I don’t see this relationship working out.

Finally, one day forgive her. Yes, forgive her. If you don’t, it will eat you alive. Forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself. Please notice I have nothing to say about my boy who still lives at home with his parents. He is a small note in this whole score. Deal with you and your child. Once you heal, your path in life will be clearer and more defined. Be encouraged, and good luck.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.