Selling your self short

Hey Rosie,

I am a 19 year old who is in a relationship with a guy who I really love, and I also think that he really loves me. But here is where the problem lies: I have been cheating on him for the past few months with a guy who is 12 years older than I am. I feel guilty for what I am doing, but it’s like I can’t stop sleeping with this other guy.{{more}} Every time I intend to stop, I always end up in the same position. I must admit that I feel strongly about both guys, but I don’t want to mess things up between my boyfriend and me. I really really need your help.

CONFUSED

Dear Confused,

If you really sit back and look at your own situation, you will realize that you are the one who is creating this messy confusion. Not the guys, but you. If you were to take an honest look, you would see that you are selling your own self short. Why am I saying this? Well, at 19, why do you have to be in this type of serious love triangle? There is no need for it! I’ve said it time and time again that at this stage in your life, you should be having many different experiences; meeting new people, figuring out about your career or furthering your education.

Hooking up and sleeping with the guys that you meet is not the greatest idea. I am sure that you are an attractive girl with LOTS to offer; why get caught up with having any sort of sexual commitment when you are still just getting to know them? To make it worse, you are involved with another man who is quite a bit older than you. Believe me, he knows a trick or two more than you, so be warned. This situation is not going to end well. You will be hurt because this back and forth will come to the light, and as usual the woman always is made to look like she’s the tramp and the men just get to walk away. You have the control here!

I don’t think you really are ready for any of these relationships, especially on this level. Step back for a while from both of them and ask yourself how does it make you feel? If the answer is “not good”, then you may need to re-evaluate what’s important to you. It may sound so cliché, but I think you should take the time to love you and know exactly where you are going in your life, and possibly with whom.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.