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Mom tells teen to be with drug dealer…

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Hello Rosie,

I really really need your advice on this problem of mine. I am a 16 year old female student attending a Secondary school, in the fourth Form, and doing well in my subjects. I wish to stay focused on my education, but because my family is poor, my mother wants me to have a relationship with a drug dealer who has plenty money, cars and other top-class possessions.{{more}}

My family, including myself, and this drug dealer move well, and he (drug dealer) has respect for us, or maybe I should say, has respect for my Mom, Dad, and my siblings; for he wants to be with me as a result of my Mom’s urgings. Rosie, I do not want to mess up my school life. I understand my Mom’s feeling but I think that she is misguided. Money isn’t all there is to life. I can see down the road that I’ll only be used by this man for sexual

satisfaction. I do not ever wish to disrespect my Mom whom God used to give me life. My Mom and I move really well together, despite my rejecting her advice to get in the relationship with the drug dealer. My Dad doesn’t treat us well. He spends most of his limited finances on rum.

Rosie, I am begging you, please, to give me some advice on how to deal with this matter. What can I tell Mom to get her thinking in a balanced, wise way again, despite our financial hardships? Reply as soon as you can. Thanks.

Distressed Teenager

Dear Distressed Teenager,

This letter is so very disturbing on many levels. I by no means doubt the validity of this letter because I feel this type of poor judgment on the part of parents is more common than we realise. I also think that someone has written this letter on your behalf because of their concern for your safety and well-being. To that person I say “Thank you”.

That being said, you are in a very vulnerable and dangerous position at the moment. It would seem as though you are more grounded and focused than your Mom and Dad. You are so close to finishing school, so close. You can possibly get a scholarship to go on with your studies to better yourself and even reach back to help out your family. However, your mother is caught up in the “now” and she can’t see what a devastating compromise she is pushing you into. Do not do it! This man does NOT respect your family, and definitely not you. Please stick to your guns! I am also encouraging you to tell your Principal, Pastor, Community Leader, someone in authority that you trust. You are not safe. It is a shame that you do not have the proper protection, but I should also warn you that you should be careful in who ever you confide with.

I am by no means saying that your mother doesn’t love you; I’m saying that she isn’t guiding you the correct way at this time. The best thing would be if your entire family could receive some sort of counseling to re-direct them away from this very dangerous ‘Quick-Fix”. Remember, this is not normal. Most parents and adults reading your plight would be heartbroken for you. Even though it is difficult, stand your ground. It takes a strong person to stand firm to do the RIGHT THING. Please keep in touch with me and let me know what unfolds. Be strong in your convictions.


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.