Hey Rosie!
October 22, 2010

“I have a thing for older men”

Hey Rosie,

I am a seventeen year old female who just finished secondary school. To be honest, with you, I have a THING for older men.

Somehow, I’ve found myself falling in love with a male who is 41 years old of age. I really don’t know what to do.{{more}} This guy and I got in a fight and I now realise that if I don’t see this guy, I tend to do stupid things. I really love him and I want to be with him, but I don’t know what my mother will say.

Help

Dear Help,

I know I’m not the only mother out there who would like to find you and just shake some sense into you! I guess you can see where this answer is heading this week, huh? So you have a “THING” for older men? You are also afraid to tell your mother? More important, the man you are in love with is 41? Really? You are with a man who is 24 years older than you! Have you just lost your mind?

There is no sugar coating this one…STOP IT! Yes, that’s what I said. Just stop this relationship now, please! You are 17. You haven’t even had the opportunity to become truly independent and make your own life changing decisions. You have decided that you are going to hook up with a guy who maybe is in the same age group as your parents? Yes, that’s why your mother would really want to hurt you, I know I would. As parents, we try to give you the tools in life to make the best choices. Becoming saddled with an older man at your age is not the picture we had in store for you.

I am answering you as if my own daughter came to me. Believe me, I would be giving her the same advice, so do not think that I am attacking you. I know I’m not the only one who thinks that you may be looking at this man as a “father-figure” as well. Do you have a father or strong male role model in your life? Do you think he would approve either? Also, I would like to address this man for a moment. All I can ask you is, “Why”? Why would you go after someone so much younger than you? Do you enjoy the control factor? Or maybe you like the fact that it is a form of hero worship on her end? You really need to check yourself and find out why you aren’t with someone your own age. Leave this child alone!

My young friend, focus on your future and furthering your education. Follow your gut, it lets you know that you are steering down the wrong road. Finally, you deserve the very best in life, so never settle. I wish you and your relationship with your mother continued strength.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.