Hey Rosie!
April 1, 2010

Run! Don’t look back

Hey Rosie,

I WAS in a relationship for over two years, then eventually the plug was pulled. He left me for someone else. His best friends used to give me advice, because after I left, I still used to go back and do things for him.{{more}}

After four months had passed, his best friend and I fell in love. Rosie, everything was going quite fine, but there is only one problem. A lot of people didn’t accept the relationship until we eventually moved in together.

Rosie, we are together now for almost 6 months and everything has started to change. It seems as if he blames me for everything that happened to him in the past. The way he used to treat me has stopped. I can’t play with him, and the most of all, he hardly spends time with me.

Rosie, some mornings a-back, I got a phone call from my little sister saying that she overheard my mom saying that my ex told her that my boyfriend is using me and he is cheating almost everyday.

And most of the things we do together, he goes back and tells my ex as a joke. Rosie, I’m a young educated and independent young woman. I’m very confused and I don’t want to be the one who people will laugh at. Please help me fast fast fast!

Confused.

Dear Confused,

You unfortunately are caught up in a lot of hear say, third party gossip and confusion. You jumped from the frying pan into the fire without realizing that it wasn’t a good situation both times.

Your first mistake was to take advice from your then boyfriend’s best friend. Don’t you realize he wanted what his friend had? His intentions weren’t pure. After breaking up, the ink wasn’t even dry, you and the best friend “hooked up”. Bad, bad idea. Why, you ask? He knew your hot buttons, what made you tick, held some of your past secrets and saw you as a challenge. This relationship wasn’t based on a mutual and solid foundation of respect and trust.

Let me say this, you said you are independent and educated young woman. Pull on that at this time and decide if you need to be in this situation. The one that has you upset, possibly being cheated on and also disrespected in so many ways. I know I wouldn’t put up with it; you have to decide if that’s good with you.

Personally I would walk away, before a baby or even worse… diseases can step into the picture. If he is cheating, we have no idea if he’s using protection either. I would more than just walk away. I would run and not look back. That’s what I would do. If you are truly independent, you would settle yourself first. Heal yourself and then decide what it is you want from life going forward. A big part is to be respected, and more important to respect yourself. Don’t let this situation drag you down or depress you. Good luck. I have confidence in you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.