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Help! Is he using me or not?

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Dear Rosie,

Thank you for the advice in advance. Rosie, I am in love with a guy about 3 years older than I am. I never had this feeling for anyone in my life. I only liked the opposite sex, not love. I am the type of person that if I talk to a guy I like, I would think about that person for the rest of the day, then I’ll forget about that person until I see them again.{{more}}

But with this guy it’s different. I think about him everyday and when I see him, it is like I’m walking on sunshine. All the weight of the world just lifts off of me. But the only problem is whether he feels the same about me. I hear he’s a player, but I don’t find so. He has all the qualities I want in a guy: cute, charming, funny, good personality, caring and down-to-earth. I just want to know if he really likes me as he says he does. I have a strong feeling he does, but I’m not sure if he’s just using me. My best friend says he’s not and that we’re perfect together, but I guess she’s just trying to cheer me up. Is he that guy that only wants a girl for sex and after leaves her? The point is, I have strong, strong feelings for him. My heart and body wants him, but piece of me is afraid of getting hurt. I need help. Should I ask him if he has feelings for me too? He told me before he really loves me, but is that the “tek off yo panty no mo long talk” talk? To me, it seems that all guys are the same, that’s why I can’t trust them. I’ve been used already and I can’t go through it again. I am confused, but head over heels in love.

Head Over Heels in Love

Dear Head Over Heels in Love,

I understand fully that you do not wish to be used and that you are very cautious right now. This is a very good thing. Take your time, there is no big rush here. I also very much understand that you are going through that powerful emotion of when you are in love. Now that is some heady stuff!

I feel you can meet a very attractive, well mannered, funny and easy to talk to guy, where it is not a “show” but the real thing. But as I mentioned before, you are right to be cautious. Giving into your emotions before you really know someone is a big mistake. He can throw as many lyrics as he wants to, after a while, the true personality comes out. If he is a real gentleman and not using you, that will remain true. If he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing then that will come to the light as well.

Your best friend is excited for you and this potential relationship (most friends are). However, she may be too close to you to be objective. You will have to go on your gut instinct at this point. Also if there are other clues or evidence out there that he may be a player, then you will have to investigate that further as well. The theme of my answer to you is: Be Cautious. I would rather you be safe than sorry. Time always unfolds the real truth. Take care of yourself and be careful not to make any hasty moves.


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.