I would like to get married, but my breasts are in the way

Dear Life Coach,

I am a 26-year-old woman with extra large breasts and I am top heavy. I do not like my body, because I feel that I am unattractive to men; I have never had a boyfriend or male showing interest in me. At present, there is a man at work that I admire, but he has never spoken to me. I did some research on him and I know that he is not married, and he also does not have a girlfriend. I would really like to get married, but my breasts are in the way; I know this because my family and friends have always joked about it since I was a teenager. What can I do to make myself more attractive?{{more}}

Big Breasts (BB)

Dear BB,

You feel unattractive because you have extra large breasts.

What’s Going On:

Here are some things that contribute to your present situation: gigantomastia, body image, body shape, heterosexual attraction, and low self-esteem, among others. I will address these briefly.

Gigantomastia

Gigantomastia refers to a female’s breast size that is a D-cup or larger. This may be caused by genetic factors, body type, hormones, and obesity.

Body Image

Body image refers to an individual’s feelings and attitudes toward his or her body e.g. I love my figure or I hate the way I look. You have a negative view of your body.

Body Shape

A female’s figure is based on her skeletal framework and the way muscles and fat are distributed. There are various body shapes that are normal for females and include four major categories: apple, banana, pear, and hourglass. Please see full article.

Heterosexual Attraction

The man at work is more likely to be attracted to you if you work on assignments together, show interest in things he likes, give him positive feedback when you communicate, and dress attractively. Please see full article.

Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves based on what our family and friends tell us about ourselves. You have under-valued yourself because your family teases you about your breasts. However, as a person, you are more than the sum of your boobs and you are worthy of love and respect.

Embrace Your Breasts

Many wives and mothers worldwide have gigantomastia. This means that many men welcome extra large breasts. So, stand tall and walk with confidence and pride, and embrace your large chest.

Fashion Do’s

De-emphasize your Chest. Wear clothing that emphasizes your lower body and takes the focus off your chest. Also use make-up and or hairstyles that accentuate your facial features and draw the attention to your face instead of your chest. Enlist the help of a cosmetologist, hair-dresser, fashion expert or trusted girlfriends on these, or read books/magazines, or search the internet.

Bra Fitting. Wear bras that are more rounded and firm than those that are thin and pointed. Get fitted for your correct bra size, as a poorly fitting bra is uncomfortable and puts the focus on your chest.

Upper Body Toning & Weight Reduction

Upper Body Toning. Chest toning (e.g. push-ups), rowing, swimming, as well as strength training and aerobics, will help to convert upper body fat into muscles and help to reduce your breast size. Weight Reduction. Changing your diet will help to reduce your weight and therefore your breast size. Eat lean protein, fruits and vegetables, and complex carbohydrates. Also, reduce saturated fats, sugary foods and beverages, and your portion size.

Reduction Mammoplasty

Surgery is available for breast reduction. You must however, consider the financial, health, spiritual, and other implications. Use this only as a last resort.

Get in the Game

It is possible that the co-worker you admire also likes you. However, he may be shy, reserved or hold you in higher esteem than himself (feel that you are out of his league), especially if you are immaculate, articulate, and a high achiever. Therefore, you should find ways to be near him e.g. working on projects he is working on, saying hello if you pass by, sitting at the same lunch table etc. In that way you may get to know each other better and things may take off from there.

Value Yourself

Relationships involve far more than physical attraction, and therefore, someone who rejects you on the basis of your bust size alone is shallow and does not deserve you. Know that you are unique, special, and beautiful and there is someone out there for you who is mature enough to love you as you are, and accept you for who you are — boobs and all.

Counselling

Low self-esteem is crippling to individuals who would otherwise be very successful. If you continue to be concerned you should see a counsellor to work on building your self-esteem.

BB, you deserve to look and feel like your ideal self; however, it is important to work with what you have. You may also be way more attractive than you realize, so, all the best as you seek to re-make yourself by emphasizing your assets.

Life Coach

DYNACII