Com-red Put-in Ah Reply to De Com-rad

Now meking de rounds is ah letter about de War in Ukraine, written in December 2024 by our PM Gonsalves to Presidents Put-In of Russia, Zelinsky of Ukraine and Biden of de USA respectively. In dat letter our PM is:

“making a humble plea for Global Peace, Justice, Security, Prosperity for all Humanity.” Also, he’s asking “for an honourable, negotiated end immediately to the war in Ukraine.” , Dat letter was copied to de Secretary General of the United Nations, António Guterres.

Lie-Za is always up to miss-chief, she believes our Ralph has something up his sleeve. Foh proof of dis she beg me to read de Bible Story in Luke 12 vs 13 to 20! Apparently someone sent-her ah photocopy of Put-In’s reply to our Prime Minister’s letter of early December last year. She also sent me bits and pieces of de letter dat reads like dis: POT AH TELL KETTLE HE BATTY BLACK

“My dear friend, Come-red and Brother Ralphie. I tried reaching yuh by phone, but was told you had gone to Can-One urgently to “shake-up yuh Waist” as dey was ah ‘David and Goliath’ matter between ah Far-rain- yah armed wid ah hot-air blower and ah local wid ah piss-tall trying to “Waste” each other away.

Any how I wish to thank you as always, for your letters of wisdom. I am indeed humbled that you find time to identify with our great Civilization and making recommendations. De same way you are closely following the Russia-Ukraine War, I also have been following your successful strides. You have had 25 years in Power! Five uninterrupted five year terms!

One remembers in 2001 how you lamented an escalation of Crime and Drugs trafficking in SVG, and laid blame solely at the feet of the then PM Mitchell, and Police Chief Two- saint, pledging to correct that “Hysterical Wrong”. Of course back then the Homicide Rate in your tiny island was a frightening “eleven cases per one hundred thousand population.” But today after your 25 years in power; it is unbelievable dat de Homocide figure is Quintupled- five times that of 2001!, not 5 times 1 =5, it is 5 times 11 – ah frightening 55 cases per 100, 000. Of significance is that worldwide, SVG ties with Jah-mek-her foh de HIGHEST Homocide rate per 100, 000. You also have de Highest Unemployment Rate and de Lowest Wages Rate in de Region. Congrats!

Yes I must add-myth, that you have correctly described my war in Russia as: “The situation of Crime in particular Homocide in your country is recently entered a most dangerous phase of escalation.” How do you say this in Vincy Creole? “ Pot ah tell Kettle he Batty Black, or is it “no worse the beef no worse the barrel?”

On a brighter side though, when I saw the Face Book post showing tourists trying to get across Villa Beach where the board walk has been damaged for months, I thought of de ole pop-yuh-law hit song by the Drifters: “Under the Board Walk” . Villa I am told is your only White Sand beach on mainland SVG.

In your letter you made “a humble plea for Justice.” I believe by now you too, have accepted the High Court ruling that is in favour of the public servants who were wrongfully dismissed for refusing to take the Anti COVID-19 Vaxine? I think I should rest here as you are my Come-Red, but some way in the Bible that you so love to quote says: “ Firstly, Fix yuh beautiful Country and doh Wace or waste yuh time say yuh trying to Fix the World!”

JUNE STAPLETON TAKE AH BOW

Somebody not doing dey wuk in de Ministry of Tour-is-him. Our neighbour’s daughters, two young US citizens, one ah doctor de other an E-con-ah-mess were here, and dey die-in to go Dark View Falls. So we planned ah picnic but de night before, de taxi driver called to say Dark View is closed for repairs; “What about Villa Beach” we asked. “Sir I’ll have to check wid Sis Love-on, Calm-ah-Low’s replacement for East St George. Right now dat beach is not recommended, people sliding between de rocks, under de board walk!” He went on: “So is Fort Charlotte, dat road will mash up my van.” Imagine de Tourist season has just begun; is like every day is ah Tourist ship in de harbour, and these facilities not ready, but…so is de Go-venom-mint. Anyhow we went pick-nicking at Mount Wynn, and ah give Full Marks to June Stapleton and her co-worker dat day, foh keeping de facility, de wash rooms etc clean and tidy. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

• Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.