Lard, what ah con-fusion

Monday morning my girl was not de usual “Estatic Lie-Za” dat ah expected after ah hysteric-call ULP 25th. Annie-verse-ah-rear cell-abrasions. She come-plain regretably, how she did not get honourable men-shun by de Prime Minister, when he was giving out Posthumous pull-it-to-kill death sentence Awe-wards, to all those who walk away from de ULP Family! She couldn’t believe dat after last Thursday’s powerful Victory March of Faith, demonstrated by Believers of de “10 Churches; an occasion dat took her back to Bible Stories she read bout de Golden Days of King David, when de children of Isreal had ah Road Block and told David: “You ( be de Church and no one else) will shepherd God’s people; you will rule over SVG.”

So Sunday Night was like an Aunty-climax, after all dem ULP churches closed dey door, Ah-ban-done dey Sunday School, Gospel Meetings, Red-up dey Head! Flood out de ETJ to hear de Come-Red Leader deliver ah message of Praise and Thanks-giving, Peace and Labour Love. Hell no! Instead it was “Ah Liturgy of Hate,” fire and brimstone foh all who dare to quit de ULP family. Lard what ah confusion!

But on Wednesday she was Lie-Za all over again , wid de announcement dat High Court Judge, Justice Esco Henry ruled dat de 10 Churches dat marched last week Thursday, will be allowed to become ah Party to de challenge to de Aunty-Buggery Laws in SVG. She was shouting loud, loud: “We Win! We Win! De Go-venom-mint win! We win de Case gainst dem Homosexuals!” So ah asked her what does de Go-venom-mint have to do wid de Churches inclusion, she tell me “Go do yuh research and yuh will see what force drove dem Pastors to lead de people to march, and dress like saints in lily-white clothes!” Lard what ah confusion!

LIE-ZA IS AH DEMOCRAT

Lie-Za into de US 2020 Presidential Calm-Pain big time! She say she got ah Green Card, she is ah member of de Democrat family, and like in de ULP, once yuh belong to Dem family, to leave is to die…pull-it-to-kill-he. Initially she was supporting Senator Bernie Saunders, until he developed heart problems. So she gone foh Mayor Pete Buttigier, even though she can’t pronounce his name, she calls him “Butt-he-Gay in ah matter- ah-fact manner;” Is trouble now dat she find out Butt-he-Gay is really Gay in name and nature, and married to ah man name Glez-man! Dat set her probing and now knows dat in his second marriage, Mayor Butt-he-Gay is de wife, and his/her spouse is a school teacher, dey have no children, but are considering having ah child. Lard what ah Confusion! Now her last wish is dat Butt-he-Gay wins de Democratic Party’s Candidacy, and goes on to win Donald Trump. He will den become de USA’s first president who will be addressed Madam President, but will his spouse Chasten Glez-man be addressed: “First Lady or First Gentleman?” Seems like de USA meking ah mess ah God’s world and we in SVG begging to agree. And wid dat is gone ah gone again!

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.