De PM is like ah lame duck

My stepfather played ah good game ah cards, especially ah game called Pedro. He could ah shuffle and reshuffle ah pack ah cards, is he who did tell me de first thing yuh got to do when yuh shuffling cards, mek sure yuh tek out de two, sometimes three Jokers. De results ah de last elections left de Prime Minister wid ah half ah pack ah cards, and included in dat pack is three jokers.{{more}} He could talk shuffle and reshuffle as much as he want, he stuck wid his Jokers.

He could push de two lazy doctors, Dug-he and Tom-son way ever he wants to, but he dare not reshuffle his Cardinet and tek out Gomry, now ah not saying Gomry or de doctors are Jokers eh. Lie-Za say how Tuesday morning, people all up in New York phoning to tell her: “Reshuffle Two-dey.” Searchlight had it right in de Midweek edition. Cess and Sees-her did done MT dey draws and bid dey staff good-buy.

De PM wanted to kill three birds wid one stone, he wanted to save Ces from making more Mess and put him in Tour-is-him. He had de bright, Hard-working So-butt-her Sees-her going back to Agriculture, but Gumry stop him in his tracks and told him: “Missah PM, hold yuh cards, yuh could tek Gumry from Agriculture, but yuh can’t tek Agriculture from me Gomry.”

So why did de PM change his mind? Read between de lines, we did hear de PM in his PRESS conference on Chose-dey giving Bible Lessons bout when young Samuel had ah restless night foh “Voices inside he Head.”

He heard ah voice calling his name, he went to de priest, Eli. And Eli told him, to “Listen to de Voice. ” Well just like Samuel, de PM couldn’t sleep either, he was hearing things, but his was not Voices, he was hearing “Vices inside he head.”

He wanted to get rid ah one ah de Jokers and reshuffle de pack, but he had to “listen to de Voice”. Remember Gumry done tell de nation dat he knows way he come from, he not shackled from Africa! Not indentured from India! And we know he not from Port-ah-girl like Ralph and Julie-Anne! Joker as he might be, Gumry calls de shots, and foh de moment de PM is like ah lame Duck!

SWIMMING IN PONDS Swimming, as ah sport is becoming popular in SVG, in fact foh de few short years since it was introduced here, our young athletes have been taking part in regional competition and giving ah good account ah dem-selves. However, managers and coaches keep complaining dat if we are to improve, we must provide the youngsters wid proper facilities, starting wid international standard size pools, either de ‘short course’ 25 metre pool, or de 50 metre ‘long course’.

It was like saying Eureka (dey find it) when de Swimming Association got permission from National Properties to fix-up and use de ole swimming pool at Shrewsbury House. Ah hear de pool looking good, ah might just to go dey foh ah dip, to see if ah could break Michael Phelps’ record, but Sports Minister Steven-son beat me to it; he went foh ah dip, he dip his mouth.

Ah saw him pon TV some nights ago, addressing members ah de Association at what was supposed to be de opening ah de new Swimming Pool. But Steven-son like he wanted to cry, his face looking like A-lice in One-dah-land, lost foh words.

De facility is half-ah-metre short ah de required ‘short course’ 25 metre pool. In simple language, what ever wuk was done, foh what ever money on this pool, we still don’t have ah International Standard Pool. And Steven-son didn’t mince wid words to buss up who-ever was responsible foh de piece ah bad wuk. “We got to get de small things right if we are to go forward as a nation” he said. Dey we go, another copy book, word foh word, coin ah phrase, dat is one ah Ralph’s. But Steven-son was hurt, what ah think he was trying to say, is dat after Guv-ah-mint go thru all dis trouble to find de funs in dis hard guava crop, look what ah mess dey gone and do. Ah was upset me-self, so ah say ah going to look foh dat Con—tract-her who can’t even line out ah 25 metre pool. Is den sum-buddy tell me nah worry wid Steven-son, he ain’t got ah clue ah way go down. Is de ole swimming pool de Association fix up, refurbished and looking new and fuss class. Dey neither add to nor minus from de original lenth. De Association scrambled all by dem-selves to fix de pool, and did it all by dem-selves. How could de Minister fault dem foh not extending de pool by ah meager 18 inches when he didn’t give dem ah Red (ulp) cent. Nutten from Guv-ah-mint and nutten from Lotto either.

And is not dat dey didn’t ask foh help. So really and truly if de Minister seriously wants dis nation’s youngsters to swim and not sink by de way-side, den de bawl is in his coat, is he who got to get de small things right, like de 18 inches dat would ah mek ah big difference.

Dave has made his contribution as manager ah Bonadie Supermarket No 1 on Bedford Street. He was always to be found at his desk, ah generous manager, gave readily to charity and a lover of ah “Nice Time”, goat or fish braff was his specialty. Dis country has lost one of its most experienced businessman.

May he rest peacefully wid his savior.

And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.