Bills! Bills! Bills! Again

Back in 1982 when Cato’s Labour Party tried passing two Dread Bills, dey met wid widespread demonstration from all quarters, de Bills were shelved and by 1984 de party was toppled. Ah thought dey and den dat ah would ah never see or hear bout any more ah dem kind ah Bills. Lo and behold, in 1998 when de NDP barely scrape thru ah 8-7 victory, another set ah Bills appeared, de Greedy Bills, including in dat Bill, was pension foh members ah Par-liar-men.{{more}} But dat too met wid widespread demonstration from all quarters, de Nurses, de Teachers, de Church, Trade Unions and eventually ULP got on board. By 2001, de party was toppled. Like doubting Tomas, ah say dat is de last, last time any Guv-ah-mint will try pushing any such Bills to Par-liar-mint. Again ah wrong! ULP wid ah 8-7 victory, find itself in ah situation way some of its members are taken to courts on pull-it-tek-all (criminal) charges, so it is now expedient foh de Guv-ah-mint to bring two Bills to amend the Criminal Procedure Code, dat will prevent citizens from filing private criminal complaints widout de permission ah de DPP. Dis is interesting, as de DPP done Nolli Pros or throw out three cases brought against ULP ministers by NDP “shadow” ministers. Dis “shadow” ting beginning to sound like de tale wid de Dog wid de bone and de shadow. But what is interesting is dat de two Bills are retroactive which means dah before de Cases dah get throw out could go any further, NDP lawyers must first apply to de very DPP, from Caesar to Caesar, or is it Pappa to Pappa? May I remind all dah ole people say “Hand Plat rope, rope tun back and tie Hand”!

LEO DE LION

When certain tings happen bout hey especially pull-it-tek-all, me mind does run pon two people, George Orwell and his book Animal Farm and de man wid de Fables, Aesop. Aesop was born ah slave in Ethiopia over 2500 years ago. He was black and one writer described him as being strikingly ugly, ah guess he’s another one whom Bush won’t be able to see in de night either. Aesop had ah gift of story-telling, dey say his clever use ah de language in his Fables literally confused his master, and he even acquired his freedom as ah result. In his Fables, he developed a technique foh launching direct criticism and persuasion at times widout being offensive. Lie-Za couldn’t overs how dat was possible so ah gave her an example ah one ah Aesop’s Fable wid Leo de Ole Lion:

“Ole age caught up wid Leo de Lion, he became too weak to hunt, he loss his sting and no longer pop-u-law! No longer could he terror-eyes all de lickle pet animals, goat, sheep, jack-ass, including Brer Fox who suffered de pain of having every litter ah cubs devoured by Leo. Hungry, Leo de Lion came up wid ah bright I-dare. He call foh reconciliation, sounds familiar doesn’t it? He sent message to all de surviving pet animals, dem wid shop, dem in Animal Union, dem in chamber, farmers etc, telling dem he went to de doctor, and he got bad news, he only got ah few days left, he was about to die. Bare-face as ever, he told dem he was seeking forgiveness, and besieged dem to come visit him so dat he could beg pardon. Dey were all excited and flattered as well, can’t wait to watch dat wicked and evil ole Leo de Lion in his face, listening him beg foh forgiveness. So next morning, one by one, de went to see de Ole Lion, all except Brer Fox. When Ole Leo didn’t see Brer Fox, he was upset and he sent ah special messenger begging Bre Fox to visit, emphasizing he wanted to die in peace. But Brer Fox was observing all de time, so he sent ah quick reply to Leo de Ole Lion, telling him he had forgiven him long time, he done reconcile wid him long time too; but he got one problem, he counted every animal dah went into de cave to visit him, Mr Leo; but up to now he ain’t see one ah dem come out yet.” Lie-Za ain’t wait foh me to finish, she tell me dat is mek ah mek up dah story, how it ain’t got nothing to do wid no Brer Fox and no Leo de Lion, is way going on right hey in SVG, and den she reminded me dah de Prime Minister born in August and is ah Leo. She add-myth dat all of ah sudden de local Lion, realize dat he barely escape pull-it-tek-all death, and His-story according to PR, de pull-it-tek-all sage, was never kind to Guv-ah-mints wid ah 8-7 margin. But ah Lion is ah Lion, He is harmless when he belly full, he will play-play games like “To-get-her Now” wid his worse frenemy when he belly full, but when hunger strike back, he’s de meanest bee-eye-tea-see-ache! De genuine truth bout reconciliation came out at de swear in ceremony at Layou dah was laden wid threatening promises of revenge. Ah sorry dah Lie-Za didn’t allow me to finish de Fable wid Leo de Lion, how when ole age and sickness did tek over in truth, and he tried to walk de street, dog walk up to him, cock up its foot and Pee pon Lion, cat jump pon he back and scratch him, pig grab his tail and bite him, sheep ram into him; but Leo de Lion’s worse night mare was when Jack ass turn his bottom in his face and kick him and said “tell de world you were kicked by an ass”! And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.