De last 100 days

Dear Prime Minister. Yuh girl fren Lie-Za say she hearing Word pon de street dat yuh leaving de wuk soon, ah think she hear yuh calling Elect-shun in Noo..vember or whenever, but she want me to remind yuh, dah just before yuh did get de Prime Minister poze, dah’s back in 2000, yuh did promise she dah once yuh win, in de Fuss 100 Days yuh was going to full up ah box ah tings and send dem give she. She say she is get ah box, but when she got it, it was open, dah was de time when dey was opening people boxes by de Post Office and some ah de tings could ah drop out.{{more}} But she did receive de trip to Cuba to fix she eyes, she say thanks. She did get ah low income house and she did get ah wuk wid de YES program, but since de Refer-run-dem, she dey home pon de NO program. Her lickle girl who did fail Common Entrance, did still get to go secondary school. Dey gave she remedial wuk but up to now de child still can’t read, like dey give she de wrong medication.

Prime Minister, ah find Lie-Za unreasonable, she get so much in she box and still asking foh more. What happen is dat she find ah piece ah paper dat yuh did publish in November 2000, listing ah set ah tings yuh were going to do in yuh “Fuss 100 Days in Office”. But she still ain’t overs polly-trickans: “dey lie sometimes, but not all de time”; she had hopes foh ah wuk foh Lie-Owe when yuh did put it in writing dah yuh was going “to start negotiations wid cruise ship companies on an overall package foh more and better jobs pon cruise ships”. Is like yuh wanted to send Moses back in de wilderness! And wha’ bout dah “Small Farmer Venture Fun thru overseas and domestic Funs, to provide small grants and loans to Farmers in non-traditional agricultural activities”. Yuh did get money foh Die-fuss-he fare-shun and ah few han-pick Farmers get, but millions, more dan half de money went back. Didn’t yuh write it down dat yuh was going to “actively and urgently push to raise de level and quality of Banana production and earnings by a full and speedy implementation Banana Action Plan. Prime Minister she asking if is “Plan” de noun or “Plan” de verb yuh talking bout? And what about de Coconut Oil Factory? She say yuh did promise “to act immediately to rebuild the Coconut Factory someway between South Central Windward and North Windward, in other words in your Constituency. She did see when dey did scramble de factory at Arnos Vale and carry it up by Hadley, up to now Nutten! She believe is Sir Vincent tek de factory mek “Coconut Bat”, remember is you christen him over and call him “Coconut Bat”, not Lie-Za.

Yuh did promise to move quickly to inject Fun to re-vie-tell-lies Our-root, but like de injections was to hot, dey give it ah over-dose ah multi-Vitamin. She long to eat ah lickle Our-root Pap.

I never knew yuh did promise “to initiate the exploration in practical terms of the reintroduction of the Sugar Industry”; PM, she laugh and say de day yuh did write dat, yuh did get ah likle someting, and it did Sweet like sugar?

Yuh almost break she heart when she hear yuh selling out Food City, because yuh did promise in de 100 Days Plan to “ begin de revamping and re-energizing de Marketing Corporation to market non Banana produce foh Farmers”. Promises, Promises Mr. PM.

Lie-Za say she never knew it was your I-dare to push aggressively to attract infestors to set up Offshore Data Entry Sevices, Call Centres, and IT Services. She overs now why some ah dem Centres got Call up in de blue skies and think she mean “Sky Blue”.

Was it ah “Sham” when yuh did promise to “set up ah permanent Echo-nah-mek Add-vice-hurry Council to manage de Echo-nah-me, watch how dah “Sham Die-nasty”.

How could yuh not full-fill yuh promise dat within de Fuss 100 Days, you were going to “enact Integrity Legislation foh Par-liar-ment-tear-on, senior public officers and police”; she made excuse foh yuh and say is dat Sir Vin-sin who did run off he mouth and cut down your 100 Days to 90 and threaten yuh say: “if after 90 days and no Integrity Legislation Bill pass, Comrad (s), don’t look foh me”. Look way happening now, de same Sir Vin-Sin giving NDP road to walk all over yuh saying how it got corruption in de Police Force.

De one she can’t believe is way yuh say yuh going “formulate ah code of conduct foh ministers of Guv-ah-mint along de lines of de ministerial code in de U.K.” PM yuh nah serious, ah code from de British, de Queen? Nah!

PM ah believe Lie-Za got ah reason to mek noise, yuh really took her foh ah ride, yuh promise “ah Commission in Local Government to prepare de way foh ah speedy introduction of genuine, democratic and effective local Gov-ah-mint”, dem is your kind ah words. Ah next ting, how could yuh sit down and put pen to paper and say “ yuh will begin to follow-up aggressively, the ULP’s Contacts (who dey dey) to build in de Fuss Term (2001-2005) in office, at least two top-class hotel complexes, of at least 100 rooms by an International hotel chain at one or more of these locations: Princess Margaret Beach (Bequia), Chatham Bay (Un. Is.) and Mt Wynn”. Thank God foh Buccama, notwithstanding de “shadow opening” oops “soft opening” and de diversion ah de natural flow ah de River dat got de Tri Tri fisher folks bawling.

Ah had to rebuke Lie-Za and tell she firstly, she lickrish to expect to get all ah de above, and secondly she was foolish to believe dat yuh were since-here in yuh promises. Yuh know wha she tell me? is how she love yuh, she giving yuh ah reminder, it could be held against yuh foh putting in writing all dem promises foh de “Fuss 100 Days”. So maybe yuh could mek ah last minute rush and full-fill dem promises in what could be yuh “Last 100 Days”. PM if yuh know Lie-Za like I do, she speaking foh de “masses’ but she looking forward foh everyting yuh have down pon dah Promisary Note yuh sign. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.