Boys will be boys

Yes, last week when ah read de story wid de two lickle youth men from Pole Yard at Arnos Vale, who jumped de Airport fence, got pass de security, dat’s if dey was any, found de LIAT plane unlocked, boarded de plane, had ah feast on de few packs ah dry biscuits dat LIAT say dey giving passengers, played around wid de controls den went to sleep in de pilot’s seat, right away me mind ran on de Bedtime Story wid Goldilocks. Dey are three versions to Goldilocks. De one wid de Ole Witch who behaved terribly and was roughed-up; den dey’s de version way Goldilocks also misbehaved and was roughed up, but de third version is my fear-foh-it.{{more}}

Now Goldilocks was dis pretty lickle girl wid golden hair locks who was lost in de forest and found ah house wid doors and windows wide open, if she only knew who lived dey she would ah run foh she life. Well, she called out several times: “Any body home?” Nobody answered so she went in to find de place M.T. except dey was three ah every-ting in dey: two big, hard bed and ah small, soft one; two big, tough chairs and ah small one wid ah soft cushion, two big bowls ah hot Arrowroot Pap and ah small, pretty one wid cool Arrowroot Porridge wid extra milk and honey. Hungry, Goldi fell foh de lickle bowl, had ah small portion ah de porridge and den decided to tek ah nap in de smallest bed, de softest. When she woke she almost fainted to see ah Mother Bear, ah Father Bear and ah Baby Bear staring down on her. She start to sing “Lord I’m coming home”. Goldi was so pretty and innocent looking, dat dey didn’t harm her, instead dey gave her ah Bear hug, think dat was ah bare hug. Dey all fell in love wid her and gave her de Princess treatment.

So just like how de Bears fell in love wid Goldilocks, is so ah fell in love wid dem two youth-men story, “De youths who was only up to mischief, dey decided to high-jack de plane to go no-way”. Typical of de ole expression “Boys will be Boys”! My kind ah boys. Ah can’t tek ah rude or disrespectful and out-ah-place child, nobody will, but when dey good at pulling pranks like boarding ah plane and go no way, full marks. Yuh should hear some ah de pranks school-boys Monty Eustace, Al and Andrew Cummings uses to pull-off. One afternoon up at de playing field, Monty started up ah PWD stone-roller and flattened Fitz Roy’s bowl, cup, plate, spoon, fork, de only ting he didn’t flatten was Fitz Roy, de ever loyal and faithful assistant grounds-man.

Even my own grandson Alex had his share ah Boy Days. At age five, he and his buddy Kamal decided dey going to hitch-hike ah ride on de Banana boat to England. Luckily someone at Geest Shed caught dem on de Port compound like dey were seriously heading foh de Banana boat, only five years ole, yuh know. Ah believe dey might ah heard de poem wid “de Naughty Boy” who ran away to Scotland.

But Lie-Za say dat d’s two lickle eleven and twelve year oles are from Pole Yard, ah most depressed, squatting community. One good ting dey have at Pole Yard is ah proper non-stop flush toilet system wid bidet features, de Arnos Vale river. One HIV/AIDS patient told me he contracted de Virus on dat block, and his sex partner was shacking-up wid another fellar.

Now foh all yuh know, was share hunger and need dat inspired dem two youth-men to go on ah plane to look foh food; or maybe dey wanted to fly far away from all de poverty and crime. My sincere hope is dat de Mad-is-straight who dealing wid dey case, would be lenient, maybe ask de Social Welfare Dept to tek over dem boys and see dat dey get ah proper Education so dat dey could go on to study to become ah Pilot, operating legally. Let’s not condemn dem two youth men, like Goldilocks, and many more youth-men here in SVG, dey need to be given ah bear hug sorry, ah bare hug and treated like Princes. After all “Boys will be Boys”!

ALL AH WANT IS-AH-BELL

Ah notice dat NICE Radio’s Dug-He and Talk Show host E.G, got to pay nearly ah half ah million dollars foh ah statement dat was made by E.G. way he Lie-Bell de PM. Ah remember Bucky Boyea dead and gone, rest his soul, had his day too. Something he did say bout PR dat was Lie-Bell. PR took Bucky to Court and won. Everybody say dat was de end ah Bucky cause PR go soak him foh thousands. But PR put everybody to silence when de Judge ask him how much damage he claiming, PR said : “ Me Lud, all I am asking for is One dollar”! Court House in uproar. Newspaper headline. “ Boyea to pay Campbell one dollar for damages”!

Yuh see all de talk bout Lie-Bell and Dis-Bell or Dat-Bell. Keep dem, all ah want Is-ah-Bell or Han-ah-Bell or Chris-ah-Bell, no Jessi-Bell. Man ah prepare to Walk, Run, Stand or Sit, but not Lie-Bell. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.