Too off-white weddings

Is always ah big problem foh me whenever ah get invited to ah formal function, and dat problem is clothes, fashion actually. Every day ah de week ah dey in field clothes, mainly short pants and T-shirts dat full ah banana and coconut stains. No wonder whenever ah dress up, every body does ask: “How come yuh look so different?” Trust me is pure back in time clothes ah does wear, including me ole wedding suit, dem is all ah got lef in de cupboard.{{more}}

My problem multiplied last weekend when ah had two weddings to attend, one after de other, weddings ah could not afford to miss. So on Fri-dey ah put on way could still fit me and made it down to de Cassino to witness Tony and Cassy-Anne Abbott’s son Christopher, and Alexandra the, daughter of Robin and Linden Punnett, exchange vows. Ah don’t know if is because bride and groom are Off-spring – (great grand children) of the white planter class why dem and so many guests turned up dress in Off-white, even Pastor Frederick was decked in Off-white gown! Let Pastahs Clarke and Ollivierre eat dey heart out Monday night when dey “Encounter” dis on TV.

Ah classy weeding, needless to say dat de drinks flowed as smoothly as de river nearby, Dawn Smith did de catering, she makes ah bad pumpkin, split-peas soup, and de food was great, de full wuks including ah suck-Lyn pig. De audience chuckled when de Bride in ah toast made special mention of “de guys who ‘do’ de pig”. Dey could Do, Don’t or Did, everybody said de pig was well Done! Foh ah change dey was no take away plates, ah can’t tek de sight ah folks leaving wid dey food in plates covered wid foil-paper, but ah overs de lickle ones dem does still look forward to see way mammy bring gee dem from de wedding. One ting dat ah was pleased about is dat people didn’t just eat at 7:00 p.m. and leave, not dem folks, dey danced till after midnight. Was ah Joy to see de two-knees, uncle two-knee Sardine in long pants and dad, two-knee Abbey skenking jam-down style: full marks to Joe Mc Kie’s sounds. First foh ah long time ah really N-Joy meself.

MRS NANTON PLEASE

And on Sat-dey it was de wedding of Maxine and Linus. Apart from de families of de Bride and Groom, dis wedding was special to ah lot ah people and organisations, de Association for de Blind, de YWCA, El Grupo Amistad, de entire Sharpes Community, Pastor Bess’ Church. Maxine was born blind, but don’t be fooled, she is not an ordinary disabled person, she is ah survivor and ah fighter. Fifteen years ago Granny Rose spotted her talent at ah Day Care training program and has employed her at de YWCA since den. When El Grupo Amistad was in its hey day, Maxine was ah lead vocalists. In de Sharpes community she’s more popular dan Conrad Say-yes de Representative for de area. Maxine always dreamed about her weeding day and marriage in general. She always talked ‘about finding a husband who had his sight to tek her to dance at de Aquatic Club. Her wedding came good, thanks to close family members, Colours and de community of Sharpes. Dey came out in dey numbers and full-up Pastah Bess church. It was ah ceremony blessed wid language as simple and straight to de pint as one can ask for, Pastah Bess understands well. And at dis wedding, de party was dressed in Off-white as well. De reception was kept-up at Colours Club in Arnos Vale. Everybody would have had ah One-dah-full time. But most of all everybody was happy foh Maxine and her husband Linus, a baker who is originally from Sandy Bay. If ah know her well, ah can’t call she Maxine any more, she will demand ah put handle to dat name, ah could just hear her saying: “Bassy, call me Mrs Nanton please!” Congrats Linus and Maxine oops, Mrs Nanton please.

ALL DE EGGS IN ONE BASKET

Pardon me if ole age is nyaming way me cents, but ah ain’t see nuttin wrong wid starting de Airport on Fidel Castro’s birthday. If wasn’t foh Castro’s Cuba dat Airport would ah never start. Dat is de least appreciation we could show de Cuban people. Ah done say ah all foh ah Airport. ULP startum but ah lickle vice keep nagging me say NDP will Enum. De same lickle vice say de Airport will complete in de nex five years and will cost 1.5 billion dollars. Ley future generations pay foh dat. Next ting ah don’t like how de PM appears to be scrunting only his Controversial friends foh money, and I-so-late-in de Europe market way we will hope to fly Agriculture produce from Argyle. Think he could be putting all his eggs in one basket and it could back-fire. But before any back-fire-in, is gone I gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.