I am attractive, but can’t seem to find Mr Right!

Hi Rosie,

I always read your articles and I think you can help me. I’m a woman in her mid 40’s, with a successful career and a great teenage son whose father is not active in his life. I am attractive, with many friends as well, but I can’t seem to find Mr Right.{{more}} I have dated many potential suitors who have turned out to be some real creeps! If they aren’t lying, they are possessive, married and some have been stalkers too. The drama becomes too much at times.

Why can’t I find the right guy? I would really like to settle down and find someone to enjoy life with but the deception is truly turning me off. I’ve done the match.com thing, friends introducing me etc and no luck. What am I doing wrong?

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

Well I hear this a lot from my single girlfriends as well and it can be very frustrating especially when you are in it for a serious long term relationship. But I have to say that sometimes when we fall back and let life happen, that’s often when great things unfold naturally.

Being set up isn’t bad, dating services aren’t bad either, but you are forced to create this initial persona which sometimes is not always true to you. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t put our best feet forward, but if it is not a natural flow, then I don’t think it’s a great foundation to start off with.

My very simple advice to you is just to be you. Enjoy your friends, your son, job and hobbies. Continue to travel, learn and explore without the “expectation” of Mr Right being around the corner. It is better to let life just happen. When we do this we are open to many new situations and people that we may have never seen or even noticed. Sometimes we also think that we have a “type”, come to hear the right fit for you is on the completely different end of the spectrum.

So reflect and enjoy where you are now. I wouldn’t be fed up because at least you aren’t settling for anything less than the best for yourself and that’s not bad. But remember the best sometimes could be standing right in front of you and you don’t recognise it because the package isn’t what you ordered in your head. Be at peace my friend, it will all come together once you fall back and let life happen.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or

P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.